What’s on the inside

It’s 6:00 AM. The house I’m renting is in the town of Pescadero. The walls are thin and the roosters crow starting around 5:30. During the night I’ve heard some terrible dog fights. My mind goes to missing my daughter and grandchildren. I give that a few tears then get up and get the coffee going. This morning I’m going to get in some quiet time with a walk on the beach. I look at Facebook a bit. Love seeing what everyone is up to, until that one photo of grand parents and grandkids shows up and then I have click off. Grief is complicated as it is. Experiencing grief for a child who is still alive, who does not want you in their life adds another element of complication. It’s a grief that goes unrecognized. When I’m with everyone at the hot springs I will excuse myself for a little nap. No one has to know why. Alone time is more essential so that this grief does not interfere with everyone’s good time.