I am writing my story as I remember it and what is true for me.
While I share my struggles and grief, I acknowledge and do not want to discount that my daughter had an experience of me that has caused her to cut me out of her life. I was a practicing alcoholic during my daughter’s crucial adolescent and teenage years. My marriage at the time was full of lies and betrayals. I was angry. She was witness to my drunkenness, my anger, be it shouting, leaving the house abruptly or feeling the tension of my silence. This was traumatic for her. If I could heal her trauma I would.
I can not undo what I did. There are no excuses. There are explanations.
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Fscottwrites 
Oh the weightiness of not being able to go back and change how we did things. I feel you
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Wow what a vulnerable thing to share, and it’s great that you’re taking responsibility for your actions. Wishing that your journey is a good one. Thanks for sharing!
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We all have had different experiences that shaped up, for both for the good and the bad. Parents are expected to be these perfect beings to their children, but that discounts the pain that some parents may have had thrust upon them that had a hand in shaping who they became. Although it may not be an excuse, it is still pertinent and sometimes offers an understanding if not a little justification. Her trauma is real and unfortunate no doubt, but so is yours. HUGS to you!
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