When you’ve made mistakes, done things that would cause others to deem you crazy, but you own up to those mistakes, quit drinking, take full responsibly, keep soul searching, but realize others may have lost faith in you, you don’t drink, you take responsibility and cry. You miss your child, you miss your grandchildren. And since there is not an appropriate way to grieve this, there is not a funeral, I can’t post pictures of my child and grandchildren saying how much I miss them. I write a blog post, just to get it out! Sometimes that’s all there is.