Everybody was tired, everybody needs money and you gotta laugh

The weather was nice Saturday, but the heat felt sudden and the haze of controlled burns loomed overhead. It was the first farmers’ market of the season in downtown Missoula and the annual Brewfest. I live right in the middle of it. People were out in hordes. I could not turn left onto the street that would take me to my dog walking client. I could feel my blood boil and wished I were rich enough to have a house out in a quiet area, preferably with a creek running outside my door.

I did squeeze into the right lane and took a long route to my little dog friend. Toffee is a chihuahua mix. I like him, not a yipper. He was not his usual chipper self, running out ahead of me on the leash. At a snail’s pace we walked, he took care of his business and that was that. I let his owner know he may not be feeling good.

The 85-year-old woman I have been caring for two hours a day on Saturdays and Sundays lives just blocks from Toffee. (I love it when life gives us those little conveniences) It’s only been four months since I’ve been caring for her but I feel we have known each other a long time. I have grown to love her. She sits in her recliner in the den with an open kitchen and dining area. She has a direct view of the front door and all that goes on. I come in, take off my shoes, and she shoots out, “Hello Frances, come tell me about your week.” I sit on the couch, excitedly saying, “I got to see a rehearsal performance of Cinderella this week.” Just a few weekends ago, we talked about Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella with Leslie Ann Warren as Cinderella. We sang, In My Own Little Corner while I prepared our avocado toast.

This day, she says a quiet hello. Sitting on the couch next to her chair, I notice she looks particularly tired. She asks me to read aloud from All Creatures Great and Small so she can close her eyes and listen. She only wants half a piece of avocado toast. As usual, we discuss whatever sad events our administration has brought upon this country. Now we are both tired and sad.

From her house, I go to the library for Montana Repertory Theater’s First Reads, a staged reading series of plays the theater is considering for production. A friend of mine is reading. The play is Eelout by Paul W. Kruse. The three main male characters are in an ice house celebrating a stag party. I enjoyed it and had some good laughs. Michael Legg, the artistic director, thanked us all for coming and shared some disconcerting news that the Rep has lost some of its funding. All the grief I’ve been feeling hit me in this moment. Needing to cry, I left as soon as Michael shared this news.

Back at the hotel where I live, Jen, a dear housemate, was leaving as I was coming in. When she hugged me, I let out a deep cry, “Everything is so fucked up.” As a government employee, she was hired for a remote job working from home. The government is now requiring her to work in an office and, she lives in fear of losing her job entirely. All this after she was finally able to buy a fixer-upper house.

Since I was meeting friends at the Wilma to see the comedian, Tiffany Haddish, I tried to nap to no avail. My friend, Susan, is a fan of comedians, so we treated her to Tiffany’s show. Susan has terminal cancer, and every opportunity to enjoy her, I take. Tucked back in the nose bleed section of the theater, laughing, Susan grabbed my hand, promising to look up turtles having sex, when Tiffany shared this as one of the sites she goes to take her mind off the troubles of the world. Tiffany’s rendition of the turtle noises had us crying with laughter.

It was good to laugh at the end of the day because sometimes, damnit, that’s all we can do.

But please do what you can; write your representatives, call them, donate to the arts, to PBS and NPR, and boycott unethical businesses.

Save Public Media

Boycott List

Thanks for reading, take care of yourselves and each other.

Frances

PS, if you want to check out turtles having sex, here you go: Turtles having sex. And imagine Tiffany Haddish on stage imitating them!

Christmas at the Hotel

Winter arrived in the Northern Hemisphere at 4:20 Eastern this morning. On this shortest day of the year, all the twinkle lights strung on mantels, windows, trees and houses assure us there is light. I find comfort from the lights on my little table top tree.

Here at the 120 year old hotel where I live, housemates have been busy decorating for the season. The three story brick building built in 1902 has housed many creative folks. Some of the artist’s creations remain. It’s fascinating and funky.

Joseph, a musician and chef, has lived here for a couple of years is cooking a roast for Christmas Eve. Others will contribute to our potluck. I’ll do cheese fondue, leaving the two dogs I’m caring for a couple of hours for our gathering. Robert, the owner, 85 years old, loves it. He really loves when we all gather for food and community.

This year the hotel is adorned with a beautiful wreath made by our newest resident, Jean. Her artistic touches are much needed and welcomed.

I am thankful for yet another year living at the hotel. It has made for the perfect place for me to live. It’s affordable (very). Being a house/pet sitter, I don’t need to spend an outrageous amount for rent since I’m sleeping there probably 25% of the year.

I wanted to share some of our decorations to brightened your solstice day. 

Names of housemates have been changed.

Happy Solstice
Frances

PS, PBS Newshour is doing a segment on family estrangement this Sunday. I was interviewed and will be on it.

Something delightful

My first pet sit, a week after meniscus surgery is perfect. It’s not far from where I live, a single level small home and two dogs that do not require walks. They have a fenced in back yard. And it’s just for a couple of nights.
Physical therapy has started. I’m moving around pretty well and have visions of summer hikes. But when the dogs and I had lain down to read at 2:30 in the afternoon yesterday, they fell into a delicious nap with me for the next two hours. I still get tired.

I got the most delightful email. I want to share the highlight of it with you. A dear friend of mine, LeBrie Rich, is a felt artist. A few years ago I was lucky to pass through Portland, OR while her art show, “Groceries” was up at an art gallery. It was remarkable.
Almost twenty years ago, she and I chatted while safety pinning wool together in order to create beautiful felted scarves. Next we would sit with a bowl of warm soapy water, rubbing wool around in our hands to make colorful felted balls for an assortment of her creations; earrings, ornaments. Her craft has become fine art. She loves to share her love of felting through her workshops and felting kits. I love to share what my artist friends are up to.
Her emailed announced her as a featured artist with PBS Oregon Art Beat. It’s fascinating and up-lifting and it’s not long. You’ll be glad you watched it, Lebrie Rich on Oregon Art Beat.

I’m getting back to writing my memoir. I submitted a couple of essays, still waiting to hear back. It can take up to four months. Meantime, tomorrow I have an online memoir writing workshop I’m eager for.

Now it’s time to do my physical therapy exercises. Have a great day and thanks for reading.

Felted Balls
Strawberry basket felting kit

Cancelled Amazon, watched Driving While Black

Awhile back, I won an Amazon gift card (remember Alicia). I joined Amazon and have watched shows on Amazon Prime. I ordered something this week, yes a cushy cushion for my seat to help with back pain. That’s the shopping theme lately, cushions, memory form, heating pads, even looking at suppression underwear. Anyway, I digress. I love my cushy cushion, especially while driving in the car. But when it arrived, it was in a huge box with unnecessary packing materials. That depresses me. It’s so wasteful. Last night, I heard a news story of how many accidents occur on the job at Amazon that are covered up, minimized, etc. They push their employees to make sure your item gets to you as fast as possible. (Why does everything have to be so fast?) Last night, I used the last of my gift card and cancelled my membership. I don’t need to help Jeff Bezos get any richer.
Also, last night, I watched a new PBS documentary, Driving While Black: Race, Space and Mobility. It is educational, eye opening and heart opening.
This morning woke up to this song and performance shared by my friend, Paty. Hope you watch it, I cried. Keep Going On Song
Love you all,
Thanks for reading.
PS not sure if I’ll continue with Fuck it Frances. WordPress renewal is coming up. It’s $118 per year. Feedback welcome.

PBS Frontline And Rogan’s List

Last night I watched Frontline on PBS about the two men we have running for President. It’s very telling. Our democracy is at stake here. It’s not about being Republican or Democrat, it’s about getting a reality show host, bully and sociopath out of office. Watch and educate yourselves: The Choice 2020 Trump vs. Biden
Yes, the two parties are important, but we have a personality problem right now.

Another good find, Rogan’s List. It has many links to who to contact on what issues, White House contacts, links to Postal Service and more: Rogan’s List

Thanks always for reading.

Thanks @lovenotfear. I did it, thanks to you.